To say that marriage is a big deal in India is an understatement – as soon as a girl enters her twenties, she is inundated with queries on her maiden status and when she plans to cross the bridge. Not only this, well-meaning relatives often bombard the girl’s parents with rishtas, hoping that they will probably earn some salvation by getting the girl settled; of course all this “social work” is done completely oblivious to the girl’s wishes and takes into no account the girl’s choice, or even her say in the matter.
If this harassment is not enough, girls are conditioned to behave a certain way post marriage and are often given a crash course in household chores by their mothers prior to getting married in order to enable them to be “good” wives. While till now, this unofficial training was limited to behind closed doors, there is now a certified course on “how to be a good wife” and it is being conducted by the prestigious IIT-BHU college! Yes, you heard that right!
The course ironically is called Daughters’ Pride — Beti Mera Abhimaan and has been initiated by Young Skilled India Start-Up which is incubated with the Malviya Nav Parivartan Kendra of IIT-BHU.
In an interview to a leading website, The CEO of the ‘Young Skilled India’, Neeraj Srivastava said: “Young girls on the verge of marriage are often saddled with complexes which makes it difficult for them to adjust in a new household. This course teaches them how to make adjustments and deal with situations that emerge after marriage.”
The three-month course will train women in interpersonal skills, computer skills and even problem solving skills! And as expected, there is no such course for men since they do not require “much adjustment” after marriage.
In a country such as ours, where the percentage of working women stands at a dismal 27%, a course such as this is bound to push this number even more low – instead of having courses on how to a good daughter in law, institutions such as IIT-BHU should invest in having low-cost academic and professional courses for women, which would in turn enable them to become self-sufficient and in turn independent.
As a married woman, I take pride in the fact that I am able to give my best to work, without worrying about who is going to feed hot chapatis to my husband – we have outsourced that job to a cook and this is not about feminism – it is simply about making ends meet, so that you ace the art of balancing your personal and professional life.
Of course, one should make all efforts to keep their marriage healthy, their house clean and their family members (both set of parents) happy. However, the problem lies in the responsibilities being shoved down one gender only, the female. Even if the husband is the bread winner of the family, he should partake equally in keeping a home happy, if not physically (by doing household chores) then emotionally and mentally.
Let’s stop labeling women as wives, sisters or daughters. Let them do what their heart wants to do and on their own accord – whether it is cooking hot chapatis in the house or cooking presentations in office, the choice should be entirely theirs!