Shifting to a stress-free life is easy, as it depends on only one person — you, says BK SHIVANI. Making trusteeship a lifestyle is one way to build your resilience
We are supposed to build immunity by following a good diet and exercising every single day. Resilience works the same way. We need to build it systematically, daily — not once a week and not only when time permits. Here are seven skills that increase your resilience every day. They create an inner shift in your ways of being, ways of thinking andways of living.
■ Skill 1: Write your story, not theirs. We are the scriptwriters, directors and actors of our movie of life. But throughout the day, when we watch or interact with others, we keep writing mental scripts of how they are, how they should be and what they should do. In the process we forget to sort, fix or perfect our own role. Our co-actors are responsible for their roles. Focus on perfecting your own performance.
■ Skill 2: Make acceptance natural. All of us hold a desire that the world should bend to our wants. And when it does not, we start whining or questioning the circumstance. It means we do not go with the flow. Most of our stress comes from this inner struggle to wrestle with the natural flow.
Shift from asking ‘What is this?’ to accepting as ‘This is it.’ When you surrender to the reality instead of resisting it, you conserve energy, which can then be used to focus on solutions and new possibilities.
■ Skill 3: Choose your words wisely. Words are the most powerful tools at our disposal, but they are often underrated. Whether it is to ask, inform, explain, advise, convince or impress, we tend to over-think and, hence, over-speak. Excessive talking depletes our energy and eventually increases stress.
Practise speaking less throughout your day. Observe your vocabulary and eliminate all low-energy, negative words . Gradually, your words will raise your vibrations, the vibrations of situations and of the people around. You will be more at ease with yourself.
■ Skill 4: Flip negative labels. All through our life, people bombard us with labels for who we are or are not — based on our achievements, appearance, background, personality or possessions. Negative labels are risky because we come to believe them and accept those labels as our reality. This causes us to feel bad or dislike ourselves. Nothing is more stressful than self-hate.
Review the labels you describe yourself with. Replace every single negative label with a pure, powerful, positive label. Feeling good about yourself is a huge step in experiencing peace.
■ Skill 5: Listen to the tutor within. At times we struggle to discern rights and wrongs. The doubt and deliberation can become stressful. Fortunately, our innate wisdom — inner voice, intellect, intuition or gut feeling — in the subconscious mind is always active and guides us correctly. Spend a few minutes with yourself in silence every day. Introspect on the consequences of your actions before choosing your karma. That is when you will hear the intuition, and it always knows what is right for you.
■ Skill 6: Make trusteeship a lifestyle. We are bestowed with so much in life — body, relationships, achievements, material possessions and natural resources. We are supposed to take care of them and use them as trustees. But somehow, we assume ownership of everything that we have and become emotionally attached to it. Where there is attachment, there will be fear of losing, and stress. Practise a new consciousness — instead of ownership, be a trustee. As a trustee, you can take better care because it would be caring without fear, possessiveness or control. This will keep your mind at ease and relaxed.
■ Skill 7: Transcend illusions about yourself. Self-awareness is precursor to emotional stamina. Unfortunately, many of us do not know our reality as souls. Even if we know, we keep identifying with the body and the labels of roles, positions and achievements. We first stress about gaining all of them and then stress about holding onto them. Regaining the awareness of the self puts a lid on our illusions.
You are a soul who is an embodiment of peace and power. Hold on to this truth. Shifting to a stress-free life is easily achievable because it depends only on one person: yourself. ■
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