“I love going on spiritual retreat at five-star resorts. Do you know of any such resort?” asked a friend recently. Of late, it had become his hobby, to google for such top-notch resorts in the country and go, stay there.
I was curious, what was so attractive about these resorts?
“I am drawn to the reception they give you. They honour the guest with rudraksh malas, apply tikkas, perform aartis, bow down to you, and at some places, even play drums to welcome you. Ahh! I love it. Nowhere else do you get such royal treatment, and you know what, every resort has its own style of respectfully welcoming their guests, depending on its tradition. Even when we are ready to check out, they show such reverence, it is hard not to revisit them,” he replied, with eyes clearly reliving his recent stay.
“So, does it mean that you go all the way to satiate your hunger for respect?” I asked. That hot-and-burning desire can often be seen at Indian weddings, both on and off screen, when some son-in-law, brother-in-law; aunt or uncle will take offence and sulk because they haven’t been shown enough ‘respect’.
“If respect is all you desire, you can get it at home, and it will be much cheaper. Just hire a person to come home every morning and evening to bow to you, perform your aarti, apply tikka and garland you. After all, even in a resort, you pay to get yourself respected. If you go there without paying, they will kick you out,” this was my sage advice.
My friend wasn’t buying any of this. “No, no, when people from outside give you respect, it is a different feeling altogether. In the resort, both men and women bow to you. And on top of that, wearing rudraksh beads, applying tikka, and dressing in white kurta-pyjamas and following certain spiritual practices for four-five days, can be a deeply profound experience,” he replied.
My questions didn’t stop there. I had more brewing in my mind. “But if you are so happy to be a part-time monk, why not take it up full-time?”
My friend laughed it off. “Being a full-time sannyasin is a big bondage. The fun is in doing it part-time!”
That was indeed the first time I heard such an argument. Until now, I only knew that sannyas shows the way to liberation, and here was my friend saying that sannyas is a bondage.
“Well, what else do you like at the resort?” I probed further.
“Ahha, massage therapy looks good,” came the prompt reply.
Well, when you call massage a therapy, you can make a lot of money off it. Massage therapies are expensive. I figured that the only massage that my friend was seeking was an ego massage. My friend chooses to stay at these fancy, uber rich ‘nirvana bhavans’ to satisfy his ego. Be it a five-star hotel or a resort, all these places are actually ‘Ego Polishing Industries’. They pamper you, make you feel special, boost your ego. This strategy works, and clients like my friend are drawn to them repeatedly, to quench their thirst for respect.
My friend had actually come to inquire where he could book himself to enjoy a grand welcome and rejuvenate himself spiritually, he just booked himself for a long lecture from me on why this was not a good hobby to pursue. He had to be made aware that those with a good understanding of psychology and working of the mind know how to draw people to them, and as a result you return to them over and over again. Would he visit the resort again if he did wasn’t accorded such heavenly hospitality, I asked. My friend flatly refused. What if there was no welcome, but the spiritual course they were offering was really inspiring, then? He again said no with a grimace.
My friend was very sure about what he wanted in life. And as I walked him to the door, I too felt it was essential that he knows the real meaning of a spiritual retreat -- to destroy the ego and not to polish it.
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