DEEPAK CHOPRA answers readers’ questions on the right age for attaining Self-realisation; being a caregiver with a positive attitude; and the allure of maya
Is old-age — say after 60 years — a hindrance to achieving Self-realisation because one’s energy level is not as high as it might have been before? — Chandra Kant, 68 years
Dear Chandra,
I may be reading between the lines, but it seems that you have an image of Self-realisation that requires intense mental focus, unwavering attention, and the ability to hold yoga asanas with discipline. If these were real requirements, the ageing process might defeat us, but there are other ways to approach the goal.
What we’re really talking about is becoming more aware, so the central issue is whether you want to be more aware. This is the process known casually as waking up. If you want to wake up, that’s a real start. Then you have to ask if your mind will help you reach the goal or hold you back.
I believe the mind is here to help us wake up. That brings up another assumption, which holds that the mind must be tamed in order to reach enlightenment. Certainly, the thinking mind is always in motion, but your awareness is quiet, still, unchanging, blissful, and content. How, then, do you get the ever-active mind to settle into this other state?
The time-honoured method is meditation. In India we are blessed with more meditations than anyone can imagine. But none will work unless the mind already has the ability to settle down naturally. I argue that the mind goes into meditation many times a day, except that we don’t notice it or use the term meditation for what is happening.
Your mind experiences silence between every thought. Your mind goes into reflection and contemplation when you ponder a choice to be made. Your mind focuses when you are happily engaged in a hobby or talking with animation to a friend. What this means is that stillness, reflection, and focus are not special or exotic attributes of meditation. They are natural and effortless instead.
Nor do they require the energy of youth. The reason that sanyasa was traditionally assigned as the last stage of life comes down to having the time and inclination to go inward. But you don’t need a forest ashram for this. You can savour moments in your day that are quiet and reflective.
When you feel distracted, you can take a few moments to calmly centre yourself. Distraction, worry, and depression are common factors in a modern, stress-filled existence. But rest assured that waking up is natural and effortless. I hope this helps.
I would like to support and take care of my ageing parents and my small kids for their well-being. How best can I do this in a positive way? — Rajagiri
Dear Rajagiri,
I suspect you are already doing the right things, for your question discloses what Buddhism might call right intention. Your attention is directed toward service instead of selfishness. To me, you already have the answer in your hands. I hesitate to offer any suggestions because the best way to take care of others isn’t contained in what we do for them. It is contained in who we are. This is the language of the heart, and I sense that you speak the language of the heart humbly and yet fully.
In a 3D physical world, I find it difficult to rationally understand the concept of maya, illusion. Please enlighten me. — R K Khanna
Dear R K,
I have found it helpful to think of maya as ‘distraction’ instead of ‘illusion.’ In this way, your psychology can shift, instead of thinking that you are being fooled and must work to find the hidden reality behind the illusion. There is no hidden reality. Reality exists here and now, right before our eyes. But we are distracted by all kinds of things.
We are distracted by putting our attention on the voice speaking thoughts in our head. We are distracted by other people and all the interesting events in the world. We see colours and hear sounds that appeal to our minds. If the mind consisted only of distractions, there would be no way to avoid the seductive allure of maya. Yet the mind is relating to everything through awareness. It is the silent screen upon which all experiences play. Once you realise that you are more than this screen, who are you? You are the unchanged witness. So, all it takes to get beyond maya is to identify with the quiet observing awareness that is ever present. Of course, this opens up the huge field of meditation, but I only wanted to address your question about maya here.■
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