As far as I remember, I have always been the "worrier" in the family. Couple that with overthinking and you have a deadly combination at hand - perpetually anxious, my thoughts would subconsciously only imagine the worst of the situation and think the opposite of what the reality was. Needless to say, such a behaviour is not just detrimental to your physical and mental health, but is also deeply anguishing to those around you.
Surprisingly, this behaviour of mine has always been limited to my personal space - at work, I would easily multitask, stay positive even in the worst of situations and never lose my cool - the fact of the matter was that in my personal life, I let my emotions get the worst out of me, while at work, I strongly balanced my head over my shoulders.
I have tried it all - medications, therapy, Yoga and all have worked in their own capacity. The fact of the matter was no matter how hard you try, anxiety will overpower you unless you train your mind to do the opposite, that is, turn destructive thoughts into constructive/practical thoughts. Physically, while Yoga, meditation all work, what you really need to do is to "control your breathing" - staying in the moment and letting the anxious thought pass and then rewiring your breathing to calm your racing heart.
Recently a friend suggested I pick up this book called "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie which apparently contained time tested methods to conquer worry. Picking it up on a whim, the book has helped me immensely and here I am sharing some key takeaways that might help you too. (Just FYI, the book isn't a one stop solution, rather it is like a textbook you need to go back to time and again.)
Look for solutions instead of worrying: If the cause of your worry is already at its worst (health issues, financial problems, job loss etc), then the deed is done and you can't really do much about it. The next thing is to do is to start looking for solutions, no matter how small it is - for example, if you have recently lost your job, start by saving as small as Rs 50 per day and then build your way up.
Accept the inevitable: It is okay to grieve over a loss (of a loved one, pet, even a job), but at some point you will need to accept what has happened. While how you grieve is an individual choice, all of us need to acccept what has happened. Take your time, but move on.
Prioritize your worries - This one might sound frivolous, but not every worry is worth fretting over - let the little things pass. This might take some time to become a habit, but once you stop fretting over the small things, you can concentrate all your energies on the big problems.
Train your mind to think positive - Every day, write down something good that happened that day - it could be as simple as the sun shone bright or you had a great meal. Slowly, you will realize that you have plenty of things to be thankful for and your mind will be trained to look only at the positive side of things.
Keep busy: The saying "An empty mind is a devil's workshop" does hold water. As an experiment, try keeping yourself completely occupied for a day and you will see that you will worry far less. Ofcourse being occupied does not mean office work, even house chores, exercise, listening to music are great tools to keep yourself busy and therapeutic too!
Finally, learn to live without fear - we know it's easier said than done, but one day at a time....
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