Dear all,
Greetings of the day..
I am well, and I hope that you and your loved ones are safe and sound. I am content with my life. I am an ordinary , overthinking woman, are you too?
today, I wished goodnight to my family at 10 past 8 in the evening telling them that I might catch some sleep and that I badly need this rest. they understood obviously knowing my work schedule they wished well and asked to rest. its been almost five hours now and I am still not sleepy. why? why do I not behave like a normal person ever? why can't I ever sleep on time and get up on time and have a routine like many others I follow in Instagram do.
Am I truly behaving like myself? or do I just hope and think that things will get back to normal soon and I would do have a normal life and not just pretend to have it.i live alone , I choose to, but I feel lonely enough . I have started hating people's company, its like I don't wish to smile every now and then, how are people so happy? but wait , are they? or are they going through something very similar but they fake this happiness because of the expectations on them. don't get me wrong, I am not judging you, if you are faking it, trust me , I can truly relate, I get overwhelmed sometimes , when I have to act like everything is fine with me. I do this with everyone around, with my family because I don't want them to worry for me, they have have enough on their plates already, in my work place, because honestly they don't give a damn. do I sound depressed? maybe I do? I know how difficult it is to open up to someone, sometimes one is simply tired of explaining things that they find lying easier. I know it.
having said all this, I know and believe that it is alright, it is absolutely fine to feel this way, a little disheartened for no reason, a sudden urge to cry, anxious, depressed , loneliness , emptiness, soul less too, its absolutely fine, anyone saying otherwise is just trying to show you a different perspective of normal. they arent wrong always, doesn't mean they are right too.
I feel you, I am with you, have you smiled at yourself today? no! but have you smiled at others to make them believe that you are fine, yes ! you have..
more power to you, you are not alone, you are not diseased. you are not crazy.
you are just another human being who is having this day, this is you. feel yourself, epathasize with your feelings, don't be harsh , its okay to not feel okay.
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