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EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
Case 1:
Last night, I had an emergency call. The patient was an old lady, nearing 80s. She had high blood pressure and chest discomfort likely to be anginal pain. I examine her and advise her ECG and some other investigations besides cardiology referral after giving her initial treatment.
The elderly lady started crying.
'I don't want to have any treatment.'
She had been brought by her neighbour who told me that the lady was living alone. All the four sons and two daughters are settled elsewhere with their own families. They rarely visit her. Her husband died long back.
I try to console her.
'I have no one to call my own. Leave me alone. This neighbour has brought me forcefully as I was crying at my residence. Please send me back to my home.'
She was in a certain degree of depression, as was obvious.
The lady, in her old age is living alone after having given birth to 6 children, having edcated and settled them. And now, all have left her to live alone in sickness and depression.
It is the neighbours who are helping her. How much time the neighbours will devote for her care? Even they seemed unwilling to accompany her for further treatment.
This last stage of life, called EMPTY NEST, is most trying one.
At her home, you would find everything in disarray. She can't cook for her all her meals. She is not capable enough to visit the market for her daily needs. She doesn't have adequate income to afford an old age home or to hire some caretaker.
Uncared, she will be worsen. She will endure all discomfort and pain. The neighbours may help somewhat.
And, one day she will die a painful death, when all her offspring will come, show some tears and then fight for the property she would leave.
Case 2:
Some 2-3 years ago, I had a similar patient. He had been in USA for most part of his active life. He sent loads of money for his family in Delhi. All chldren got well educated, employed and bought their own kothies at Gurgaon living posh lives.
His wife was no more and he was living a lonely life at the ancestral home in Delhi.
About 65 years old, he started crying in my consultation chamber, telling the story of his life. No child of his was coming near him in his difficult old age.
A whole life full of struggle, living away from family to support them, lots of accomplishments and earnings!
He gave everything that he earned to the children.
And now, see the result!
In both the above cases, the elderly persons are not living with their offsprings. The children are busy in their own families and jobs. They don't 'have' time for the old parent. They want the parent to sell the ancestral property and then come to live with them which the parent is not willing to do, as he/she fear maltreatment if they lose their property.
There might be other reasons too for choosing/ being under compulsion to live separately
Last night, I had an emergency call. The patient was an old lady, nearing 80s. She had high blood pressure and chest discomfort likely to be anginal pain. I examine her and advise her ECG and some other investigations besides cardiology referral after giving her initial treatment.
The elderly lady started crying.
'I don't want to have any treatment.'
She had been brought by her neighbour who told me that the lady was living alone. All the four sons and two daughters are settled elsewhere with their own families. They rarely visit her. Her husband died long back.
I try to console her.
'I have no one to call my own. Leave me alone. This neighbour has brought me forcefully as I was crying at my residence. Please send me back to my home.'
She was in a certain degree of depression, as was obvious.
The lady, in her old age is living alone after having given birth to 6 children, having edcated and settled them. And now, all have left her to live alone in sickness and depression.
It is the neighbours who are helping her. How much time the neighbours will devote for her care? Even they seemed unwilling to accompany her for further treatment.
This last stage of life, called EMPTY NEST, is most trying one.
At her home, you would find everything in disarray. She can't cook for her all her meals. She is not capable enough to visit the market for her daily needs. She doesn't have adequate income to afford an old age home or to hire some caretaker.
Uncared, she will be worsen. She will endure all discomfort and pain. The neighbours may help somewhat.
And, one day she will die a painful death, when all her offspring will come, show some tears and then fight for the property she would leave.
Case 2:
Some 2-3 years ago, I had a similar patient. He had been in USA for most part of his active life. He sent loads of money for his family in Delhi. All chldren got well educated, employed and bought their own kothies at Gurgaon living posh lives.
His wife was no more and he was living a lonely life at the ancestral home in Delhi.
About 65 years old, he started crying in my consultation chamber, telling the story of his life. No child of his was coming near him in his difficult old age.
A whole life full of struggle, living away from family to support them, lots of accomplishments and earnings!
He gave everything that he earned to the children.
And now, see the result!
In both the above cases, the elderly persons are not living with their offsprings. The children are busy in their own families and jobs. They don't 'have' time for the old parent. They want the parent to sell the ancestral property and then come to live with them which the parent is not willing to do, as he/she fear maltreatment if they lose their property.
There might be other reasons too for choosing/ being under compulsion to live separately
What are your views on such happenings? Where do the things go wrong?
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