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Feb 08, 2011, 21:20 IST

Your True Identity is Genderless

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You think of yourself to be either male or female, but are you aware that consciousness is neither feminine nor masculine? The gender bias is more for the anatomy and the physiology. It has nothing to do with the mind, it has nothing to do with the consciousness, and it has nothing to do with the energy. All these distinctions are only at the level of the body.


A woman’s mind can be as egoistic as a man’s and a male can be as kind as a mother. Lust, greed, desire, pain, fear and happiness are experienced in the same manner by both men and women. You cannot say that lust is feminine and greed is not, or greed is feminine and lust is masculine. You cannot put a gender on emotions. You cannot put a gender label on sadness, joy, happiness, despair, frustration, dejection. They are genderless. So, at the level of mind, there is no difference between a man and a woman; even at the level of mind, the differences are because of socio-conditioning.

In socio-conditioning, a woman can believe that she is weak and a woman can also believe that she is strong and powerful. For example, if we were to ask a four year old girl and a four year old boy who have not been exposed to these socio-conditionings, “Are you weak or powerful?,” what would they say?  Nothing! It is only the socio-conditioning which makes us believe what we are. Our identity is a false identity cultivated by family and society and we have adopted this identity as our true one. Therefore, what we think is actually borrowed thinking; what we feel is borrowed feeling.

Let me tell you about a devout woman saint called Meera. She was born in Rajasthan, in India. She was in love with Lord Krishna. She considered him her husband right from the tender age of three. She was married off to a king and then, with time, the king died. When the king died, everyone said that you should mourn for your husband. She said, “Well! You may consider me a widow but I am not a widow because my husband Krishna is eternal, immortal and indestructible! You think I am a widow, but for me, I am eternally married to my Lord! So why should I mourn?”

This lady, born in the fourteenth century could dare to say to her husband on her wedding night that I am here with you because of this political agreement done by my father and your father; to save these two kingdoms from fighting and killing one another, I accepted getting married to you. But let me make it clear -  from my side, you are free to go to any woman or get married again because I will not be available to you physically, mentally or emotionally.

From the point of view of socio-conditioning, for a woman to lose her husband and that too in the fourteenth century was the worst thing that could happen to her. There was a custom prevalent at that time that such a woman has to burn herself on her husband’s pyre. She was not ready to live even a single day, after her husband’s death, because that was the socio-conditioning in those times - that salvation is in being with the husband. Therefore, a widow was persecuted and banished from all social happy events.

So, the social conditioning for Meera was that she should mourn or she should die by burning herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. Yet, she could dare to say that he was just my companion, a great friend who understood my feelings and never transgressed those boundaries which I had laid. What a powerful woman! “So why should I mourn? I am eternally married and I have to celebrate my being, my existence!”

The socio-conditioning was that she should feel pathetic, sorrowful, mournful, and here she is still full of beans! When someone said to her, “Oh, we are sorry that you have lost your husband,” she said, “Well! What is there to mourn? Now I am free from this political agreement; now I can go wherever I want and I can meet whomsoever I want. God has blessed me with this freedom!” People thought she might have hated her husband, but her husband had said on many occasions that being with her was the best thing to have happened to him in his life. Just to satisfy sexually is not the only duty of a wife; a wife is much more than that. And she was that!

Thus, this so-called feminine weakness and so-called masculine power is very highly rated, but actually it is something very under-rated. And it should be taken like that. Male or female - these differences are only at the level of the body. So, if you learn or if you explore your true identity, not the false identity, then you would know that you are neither male nor female.

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