Domestic violence is one of the most common, yet shoved under the carpet crime that has been happening in and around our society. Yet most people brush it aside, calling it as a minor squabble between a couple. However, Divyaa Pandit’s story, by Humans of Bombay is not only inspiring, but also eye-opening. Read the story here
(Content courtesy: Humans of Bombay Facebook page)
“My mother was always conservative — she believed that women had certain limitations and restrictions which were to be followed. I was an average student, because a lot of subjects didn’t interest me, but my parents often called me ‘dumb’. When I came ‘of age’ they thought it was best I was married off. I was in love with someone at that time, but they didn’t allow me to marry him — instead they started showing me boys for arranged marriage. As an act of rebellion, I married a man who worked in an airline and wanted to eventually become a captain.
My turmoil started very early on. From controlling what I wore, to who I met — he made me a captive in my own home. If he didn’t like the food I cooked, he would beat me. He called me an ‘idiot women’ and did as he pleased because he was confident, I would never leave. I gave birth to 4 children, because he wanted a boy — my 3 daughters were looked upon as a liability — he ‘loved’ them according to his convenience. He refused to pay for their basic expenses — I had to plead for every small thing they needed. He had multiple extra marital affairs… he made no bones to even hide them — it was hell.
I was severely depressed and suicidal for the better part of this marriage. I was fearful of leaving him, because what would I do? Where would I go? What would happen to my children? I was on medication and decided to try Reiki — and that’s when I actually found strength within me. As his abuse continued, I began to make plans for my future — what had saved me, was what I felt most passionately about…I became a certified Reiki healer. When I started to get clients and make my own money — he couldn’t take it. He would call my mother to abuse and harass her — he would blame me for sleeping with men who came to see me as a healer. He would threaten all of us, and during this time my mother passed away.
It was then that I decided to leave — and that’s what I did. I stopped caring about what people would say and how he would slander my character… I just wanted to protect my children. I filed for divorce 5 years ago, and it still hasn’t come through — he does everything in his power to continue his torture but I don’t let it affect my children and me. Since 5 years, I’ve been providing for my children all by myself and I feel great about it! I’ve finally learnt that to live in fear is to not live at all. I thought I couldn’t live without him and that people would ‘talk’ if I was a divorcee — but the truth is, you can live without anyone and people will always talk. Today it’s this — tomorrow something else…don’t worry about it. Live for yourself and those you love and if ever anyone is taking away from your peace — have the courage to walk away.”
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